Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

Doctor : "How are you after your heart operation, Mr. Smith?

Patient: I don't know, Doctor. I seem to have two heartbeats.

Doctor: Thanks God! I thought my watch was lost."

J J J

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"

Banta : Oye you told me, today you will to go to doctor, What happened?

J J J

At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Goa.

After settling in, he met a neighbour who was also an older man. “Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is.” The men replied. “When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word.

I had hardly any hair on my head.  I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said John. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

J J J

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

J J J

Gorge: Since I had treatment by a private doctor I've lost five kilos in weight.

Harry: That’s Great. He will be a good doctor.

Gorge: No, the doctor's bill was so enormous I've been unable to afford to buy any food to eat.

J J J

Evolution of medicine :

I have a headache ...

2000 BC – Eat this root.

1000 AD - That root is infected, say this prayer.

1850 AD - That prayer is superstition, drink  this  potion.

1940 AD - That potion is snake oil, swallow this  pill.

1985 AD - That pill is ineffective, take this  antibiotic.

2000 AD - That antibiotic is artificial, eat this  root.

J J J

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