A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept  complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.

Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no  earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.

 Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from  some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He  really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the  operation we ran out of anaesthetic."


A man with a terrible sore throat walks into a pharmacy and asks  the pharmacist if he can give him something to relieve it, and the  pharmacist says: "Well, I could give you any number of things but

 they won't really do you much good. However, I can tell you what I  do when I have a bad sore throat like you have."

 "Really?  What's that?"  asks the man.

  "I go straight home and have my wife give me a good blow job. I

 suggest you try that."

 "Sounds great!" says the man, "Is your wife home now?"


A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von  Vermouth, and sat down to explain his problem.

  "Well, you see, I've got this problem," the man continued. "I keep  hallucinating that I'm a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees  mountain dog. It's crazy.  don't know what to do!"

  "A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Come over  here and lie down on the couch."

 "Oh no, Doctor. I'm not allowed up on the furniture."


Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out ofthis place!

Doctor: I am!! bit by bit.


Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: Rs. 300.00.
Patient: Rs. 300.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.


A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.

Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.

Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.

Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.

Man: And the bad news?

Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease.

Man: That’s great. I was afraid I had cancer!


Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.