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A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anaesthetic." ***** A man with a terrible sore throat walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something to relieve it, and the pharmacist says: "Well, I could give you any number of things but they won't really do you much good. However, I can tell you what I do when I have a bad sore throat like you have." "Really? What's that?" asks the man. "I go straight home and have my wife give me a good blow job. I suggest you try that." "Sounds great!" says the man, "Is your wife home now?" ***** A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Vermouth, and sat down to explain his problem. "Well, you see, I've got this problem," the man continued. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees mountain dog. It's crazy. don't know what to do!" "A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Come over here and lie down on the couch." "Oh no, Doctor. I'm not allowed up on the furniture." *****
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Prisoner:
Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids,
and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out ofthis
place! Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? ***** A
man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor
comes in with a grave look on his face. ***** Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
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