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A
little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a
cavity that would have to be filled. “Now, young man,” asked the
dentists, “what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?” “Chocolate,
please,” replied the youngster. ***** Patient to eye doctor: “I’m very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the chances?” Eye
doctor to patient: “Don’t worry you won’t be able to see the
difference.” ***** Doctor:
You only have six month to live.
Man:
I can’t pay the bill. Doctor:
Alright, I’ll give you another six months. ***** The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theatre, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he’s in touch with reality now. So they ask him, “Why did you put the newspaper down first?” He answers, “So I’d be higher and have a better view.” ***** A distraught man ran into the doctor’s office. “Doc!” The man screamed, “I’ve lost my memory!” “When
did this happen?” asked the doctor. The man looked at him and said,
“When did what happen?” ***** A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. “I’m
afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much
time,” the doctor says. “Oh
no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks, “10….”
says the doctor. “10?
10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!” he asks desperately. “10…9…8…7…” ***** Patient:
Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? ***** Patient:
Doctor,
what fish did you say I have?
Doctor:
Not a fish, stupid, cancer! ***** Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you've got it again. ***** Patient:
Tell me, doctor. Is it serious? Doctor: Well, I wouldn't advise you to
start watching any serials on TV. ***** Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill. ***** A
patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Dentist: Wear a brown tie! ***** A
man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and
her contractions are only two minutes apart!" ***** |
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