The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will”.

"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."

 *****  

Three Doctors at a Convention talking Shop.
The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens."
The next Doctor says: "Me, I love doing surgery on Accountants, open them up and all their Parts are numbered, makes it very easy” The third Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Lawyers, they have no Heart, they have no Guts and the Head is interchangeable!"

A woman told the vet that something was wrong with her dog. He examined the animal and told her the dog was dead.
"I don't believe you", she said, "I'd like a second opinion"
The vet said that would be fine. He went into the other room and got a cat. He put the cat up on the table with the dog. The cat sniffed the dog and jumped down. The vet then got a black lab, put him on the table and the lab sniffed and jumped down.
The vet tells the lady again, "I'm sorry, but your dog is definitely dead. That will be Rs. 600 for the exam."
"Rs. 600 is ridiculous, what are the charges for?" she exclaimed.
"Rs. 600 is a bargain," the vet explained. "Rs. 50 for me and only Rs. 550 for the cat scan and lab work.”

After hearing that one of the patient in a Mental Hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a Bathtub.

Hospital Director reviewed file and called him into office, “Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behaviors indicate that you’re ready to go home.  I am   only  sorry  that  man you saved killed himself with a rope.

Mr.  Haroldson   replied : “Oh, he didn’t  kill himself”, I hung him up to dry.”

SHAKEY said to the Pychiatrist “Doc, everytime I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it, you got to help me!”

“Come to me three times a week for two years and I’ll cure your fear”, said the Shrink. “And I’ll only charge you $200 a visit.”

“I’ll think about it”, said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street and asked why he never came to see him.

for 200 bucks a visit? A Carpenter cured me for 10 dollars.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed.”