Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you.

Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.

Patient: Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.

Patient: Doctor, I don't feel hungry after taking meal.

Doctor: Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit. (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up.

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.

Patient: It's all-right. I'm not in a hurry.

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Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?

Patient: Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body's blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?

Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.

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Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.

Doctor: Are you thirsty?

Patient: No I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.

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Patient: 'Doctor, doctor! I've swallowed a spoon.'

'Doctor: Sit down and don't stir.'

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Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. “She’s incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "She does everything absolutely backwards.
            Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near died on us!"
            The second doctor “Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"

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Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?

Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.

Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.

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Mohan : (to the doctor) : Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?

Doctor : Your eyesight seems to be poor.

Mohan : How did you come to that conclusion?

Doctor: You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital.

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