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A
dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist:
Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most
painful screams? Patient:
Why? Doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game. ***** Nurse:
Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next. ***** Patient:
Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing
my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. ***** A
man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local
doctor. John:
How can I lose twelve pounds Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off. ***** A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month." ***** A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I
don't see why not," replies the doctor. ***** Patient:
Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? Doctor:
Absolutely nothing! ***** A
new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors
searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?" "No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone." ***** Doctor:
I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient:
Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor:
The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to
live. Patient:
24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad
news? Doctor:
I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. ***** Patient:
Doctor, I think I need glasses. ***** Doctor:
You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty. ***** |
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